According to every Terp I know, I commit a fashion faux pas on a daily basis by rolling around the campus wearing knee-high socks and flip-flops. Although I don’t brag about being a fashionable young gentleman, I feel as though my hourly glance at the mirror confirms I look good.
Celebrities, such as Farnsworth Bentley (rocking the plaid umbrella on a sunny day), Jennifer Aniston (during her days on “Friends”) and Kanye West (prior to claiming President Bush doesn’t care about black people) set the standard for what we are supposed to wear.
The concept of high school cliques continues into our collegiate years, as seen through the dress of various students. Whether you’re preppy and have your Lacoste shirt collar popped with Aviators on or you’re into the hippie style and wear groovy bohemian skirts, these fashion statements will be considered passe a week from now.
What’s cool at the moment isn’t so hot later. A week before I moved back to College Park, I emptied out my dresser, donating all my “old looks” to the local thrift store. I hoped someone would appreciate my clothes and continue the trends I once thought were cool, but at a much more affordable price. My dresser contained:
1. JNCO Jeans: These pants were made out of enough fabric to dress the lower halves of a family of four. Any consumer could have purchased these highly fashionable, baggy pairs of jeans at the mere price of $50 each. And if you were caught walking into homeroom wearing a pair of knock-offs, you just weren’t cool enough for school.
2. Snoopy sweater: As a little kid, I thought grandma was gangsta for buying me a green Snoopy sweater. Years later, it seems pretty embarrassing. Once considered the pimp of my fourth-grade class, I would never be caught dead wearing that shirt on Route 1. And forget about being allowed anywhere near Fraternity Row, ’cause even tipsy Terrapins used to read the Peanuts cartoons.
3. One hat for every sports team out there (with the exception of the Blue Devils): I had at least one hat for every team, organization and city in the world. You definitely looked the coolest when your hat’s brim was curved. And while pre-pubescent girls were painting their toenails, hoping John Doe would ask them to the homecoming dance, the guys were whipping off their belts and tying them around their hats’ brims to get that perfect look.
I’ve now noticed, from meticulously skimming over recent issues of GQ and Vibe, the hottest fashion is to leave your brim flat, and to not remove the brand name sticker from your recent purchase.
You also have to be able to wear the hat at the right angle, with the brim in front, and not behind. Just five days ago, I thought it was cool to wear your hat backwards. I guess it’s time to run to my dorm room and study MTV so I will know how to properly wear my remaining hats.
4. Faded, destroyed clothing: On a recent trip to the shopping mall, my friend and I went into the Hollister Co. clothing store. Upon arrival, one of the savvy sales clerks approached us, asking, “Hey guys, we’re having a sale on all of our jeans. You could buy one pair of jeans for $40, or you could purchase a pair of faded jeans for $60. I’d go with the second choice, because that pair makes your crotch look big.”
Needless to say, I donated all of my clothes that had faded over the years.
But, your clothes are supposed to express your personality and make a statement to the world about who you are.
That’s why I made sure to bring one specific shirt to College Park with me. I believe I am the only person in the world who proudly wears a football jersey featuring “The Real Ja Levitt” printed on the back.
That is my fashion statement.
David Levitt is a sophomore physiology and neurobiology major. He can be reached at dlevitt@umd.edu.
