Photo from big cartel
Dear University of Maryland students,
The majority of you look atrocious, to say the least. This is an institution, not a soup kitchen. This is not from a fashion standpoint but from a person who goes to class and must endure one painful sight after the next. There are a million things wrong with what a majority of this student population looks like. While I could go on for pages about what I see on a regular basis, here are just a few things that really have me concerned.
Pajamas
It is 2013 and I am sure our forefathers did not imagine a world where going to class in your PJ’s would be acceptable. I have yet to understand how a person could be in such a hurry, that full-fledged pajamas become an option for class. Do you own a surplus of plaid flannel pants and matching camisoles? It is has been 65 degrees at the coolest; you cannot be comfortable in those flannel pants and Uggs.
Wedged Sneakers
Why this joke of an idea ever came to make itself a reality is beyond me. The fact that people will pay money for these and waltz about campus to and from class in them is a Halloween horror story in itself. If you think that the not-so-cleverly hidden heel makes you look better, you are wrong. When people stare at you and you think they are jealous of your shoes, think again.
Wedged Rain boots
Never. No. Stop immediately. If I ever see these on a wet, rainy day again I will take them from you; I will revoke your right to pick out and purchase your own footwear. Everyone always looks 10 times worse on a rainy day (if they even bother to show up to class), so do not make it that much more terrible. These are not only hazardous to your wardrobe but also to your physical health. The wedge must make walking through Maryland’s recent torrential downpour that much harder. Do the community and yourself a favor and never wear those again.
Clashing
As the weather gets cooler different materials, textures and patterns suddenly come out of the woodwork and into our wardrobes. When properly combined, this look can be chic and sometimes enviable. But when you start pairing fur with leather and Aztec patterns and polka dots with stripes, it would be what most would call a “CP Ratchet.”
So Maryland, please do not take this the wrong way. I am sure you have it in you to change and I actually mean change. Next time I see you, please do not wear a jean miniskirt with a football jersey. Try wearing something other than flannel Giants printed pants to class. And please, please, I beg you to throw out those 90s mom, high-waisted jeans shorts. In general, how about we actually put on a shirt while in public, I think for some that will be a great start. Let’s make College Park more visually appealing and put an end to this aesthetic turmoil.
