Here’s a bit of a history lesson: In 1958, Ross Bagdasarian (a.k.a. Dave Seville) thought it would be interesting to perform a song he wrote, first as a slow version, and then sped up to create a high-pitched playback at normal speed. The unique audio technique produced the adorable little animated group, Alvin and the Chipmunks.
It’s safe to say that when Seville created the Chipmunks, he never imagined they would become pop-culture icons. But it’s also safe to say he never fathomed a bastardized version of his creations, beat boxing and wearing baggy clothes to appeal to a generation of children who demand faux-gangster culture.
With the release of Alvin and the Chipmunks, the latest lackluster effort from Tim Hill (Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties), I wonder how many times Hollywood will crap on our collective childhoods.
Alvin and the Chipmunks had many animated series in the ’80s and ’90s, and there is something initially charming in seeing those fuzzy characters on the big screen (even in bad CGI). Unfortunately, this charm wears off rather quickly. The plot of this film adaptation explores the origin of Alvin and the Chipmunks – how they came to meet their “dad” Seville (Jason Lee, My Name Is Earl) and their first song.
However, a predictable plotline involving the Chipmunks’ unexpected popularity and its danger to their talent (and Seville’s original vision of the group) derails the entire film. The plot really has nothing new to offer when it comes to the melodious rodent trio’s backstory, but it’s the writing that puts the final nail into the tiny chipmunk-sized coffin. Jon Vitti, who also wrote some of the most memorable episodes of The Simpsons and King of the Hill, is responsible for the on-screen mess he created, filled with stupid “nut” jokes and dialogue that won’t appeal to kids or adults.
What does appeal to adults, however – and is possibly the only saving grace of this movie – is comedian David Cross (I’m Not There) as Ian, the Chipmunks’ sleazy, money-mongering manager. His dialogue is incredibly stupid, but Cross flips it by using an over-the-top and corny delivery style to make those lines the best parts of the entire film.
Unlike some of the other actors involved in Alvin, Cross is the lovable exception. Lee plays an adequate Seville, but rather than making something out of nothing as Cross did, he offers nothing beyond a few eyebrow lifts, a number of widened eyes and just a couple of “Alviiiiiiiiin!”s.
And the actors who portray the Chipmunks don’t add much, either. Three different people voice the gang: ringleader Alvin by Justin Long (Live Free or Die Hard), Simon by Matthew Gray Gubler (RV) and Theodore by singer Jesse McCartney (Keith). None of the three bring anything dynamic to their roles. In fact, the film may have been more interesting if Lee played Seville and all three chipmunks – just as the original Seville did.
Simply put, Alvin and the Chipmunks evokes no childhood memories and does not take the Chipmunks a step further, either. Instead, an expected plot, lackluster actors (except for Cross, whose adult-style humor seems out of place in this family flick) and horrible dialogue weigh the film down. Unless you’re burning to see your favorite chipmunks take the stage one more time, save your nuts for the season’s other fare.
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RATING: 1.5 STARS OUT OF 5
