Call me a pessimist, call me a curmudgeon, but most of all call me a graduating senior who needs a hug. I know I probably shouldn’t be whining about being just a month away from getting out of this place and into the world, but for the sake of my sanity and that of all my fellow spring 2010 grads, indulge me.
Now I made the mistake of saving credits until my final semester, and thus, I’m actually still buried in work during what should be a breeze to the finish line. But nonetheless, the burden on the graduating-senior population is much larger than might be expected. Even those of us who were smart enough to only need a handful of credits in their final semester constantly have to face the ever-present fear that one failed 100-level bullshit class will result in the biggest embarrassment of our soon-to-be fruitless lives. I’m currently taking a class on weather and climate, and it’s become the most terrifying course I’ve ever taken. It’s gotten so bad I’ve actually started going to some of the lectures. Hell, I even took notes. I mean come on, before you know it, I’m going to actually have to purchase the textbook to study for the final.
Besides classes, we poor graduates are faced with all kinds of troublesome graduation protocols. Yesterday, I went to the Maryland Book Exchange and spent a $100 on a cap and gown that no doubt cost about 40 cents to get sewn together by a woman in Taiwan. I’ve received several e-mails from classmates asking if I could spare tickets to the main ceremony since apparently we can only receive six per graduate. I’m thinking it’s time for me to start scalping these bad boys in order to recoup my cap and gown costs.
I also received a personal invite to join university President Dan Mote and his wife at their home, only to find out the same invitation was extended to hundreds of other graduates. And here I was thinking Mote was just a big fan of my work.
Let’s also not forget with the whole economic collapse, graduating college is good and all, but it has become sort of necessary to go to grad school for a lot of people. That’s not to say that none of the graduating class will be doing just fine financially in the near future, but for the majority of us, either it’s back to school — for reals this time — or into a job that is going to shower us with bitch work for what amounts to pigeon feed. Of course, if you’re like me, you just swallow your pride and move back in with your mom and dad until you get lucky and find a Band-Aid in your cheeseburger at McDonald’s and sue for millions.
Obviously, though, the big issue at hand is I’m jealous of my underclassmen peers. I don’t think I’m alone in the notion that had I known a little more when I was a little younger, I could have accomplished a hell of a lot in this place, but now I’ve run out of time to do it. Though your friends at West Virginia University and Penn State will tell you otherwise, this university is actually a really fun place to go to school. So do yourselves a favor and figure it out before you’re getting ready to walk across that stage.
Mike DiMarco is a senior English major. He can be reached at dimarco at umdbk dot com.
