Ah, finals week. Chances are, you’re reading this article while drinking a 5-Hour Energy in Footnotes Café, or on your laptop at a table on the psychedelic second floor of McKeldin Library. Either way, we both know you should be studying. (However, I encourage procrastinating long enough to finish this article, and maybe even the Sudoku puzzle.) But what happens if you finish your fifth caffeinated beverage and realize you have to relieve your Starbucks-filled bladder? There’s no way you’re going to pack up all your stuff and give up your prime studying spot just for some basic bodily function, but what else can you do?
As much as we may hate to be trapped in the library, we all know how important positioning is (that’s what she said!). Seating in McKeldin can make or break your finals week. A quiet cubicle on the sixth floor is essential for some, while others can work in a noisier WAM lab environment. If you get your perfect seat, you’d have to be insane to give it up! Well, my friends, I’m sure you already know the answer because I bet you’ve done it before. Simply ask the person sitting closest to you if they can watch your stuff.
“Uh, excuse me, can you watch my stuff for a sec?” is probably the most common question asked across the campus besides “Wanna go to Turtle tonight?” (Uh-oh, never mind). I’ve watched people’s backpacks, books, papers, coats and laptops in just about every building I’ve ever sat in for more than 10 minutes. I’ve probably asked for the same courtesy once or twice myself. Every time I’ve stood vigilant guard of someone’s possessions, I’ve wondered, how many people ask a perfect stranger to watch their stuff and come back to a deserted crime scene?
It seems like such a stupid risk for us to take. People in the “real world” would never dream of leaving valuables with a stranger that sat next to them in a café. What are we judging our neighboring studiers on? Maybe it’s their looks — a good-looking person could never be a thief, right? Or maybe it’s because they’re also studying, or at least taking a Facebook break, which means they care about school, which must make them a decent human being. I guess I don’t look threatening, but what if I’m in the market for a Mac? I’ve always had a PC, and some of those new Macs look sa-weeet! Just kidding. Honestly, you can let me watch your stuff and I promise I won’t steal it.
Like I said, I’m sure you’ve done it before. I know I’ve done it, and I know my friends have, too. I have yet to hear of somebody losing their stuff because of the negligence of a doe-eyed freshman too concerned with ENGL101 or because a senioritis-infected senior with his earphones in barely heard the request in the first place. And although it seems like a really silly habit of ours, it makes me feel a drop less cynical that thousands of 20-somethings trust one another enough to leave their valuables in one anothers’ hands for a minute.
The library warns us that it only takes a minute for a thief to strike, but it also wouldn’t allow us to bring food in until last semester, so I’m not really too worried.
Ellen Linzer is a senior English major. She can be reached at linzer at umdbk dot com.
