So while the seniors are doing their best to enjoy their last year at the university, the freshmen are learning the ropes – the best classes, the best professors, the best parties and the best dorms. However, despite all we learn in our four years here at the university, there are some things you might not end up telling your parents, and for good reason. Here are some.
New school, new nameYour parents probably put a lot of thought and consideration into your name before you were born. Sifting through baby name books, considering middle names and potential nicknames, or perhaps you were named in honor of your father, mother or grandparents. So why would you go ahead and break their hearts by telling them about how sweet the name on your fake I.D. is? You went from John Smith to McLovin’ the moment that expired Iowa license fell into your hands. While I’m sure they’d be proud that you found an ingenius way to party with the big kids, it might be wise to keep your alter ego under wraps.
Real coolWe all remember our first year on North Campus and the distraught looks on our faces when we realized there was no air conditioning. For every pound of the freshman 15 we gained, we lost four in sweat simply sitting in our rooms. However, as happy as you were when you found an upperclassman off-campus, in La Plata or in the Commons to snuggle up with and share some AC, it’s probably better if you continue to allow your parents to pity you for sweating out the heat.
Violent rivalsYour parents were probably just as excited as you were when you got accepted to the university. The football, the basketball, the sprawling green campus. Go Terps! It might be prudent, however, to keep your tailgate stories (particularly that one about tackling a rival fan) under wraps. Your parents like football in the jersey wearing, flag waving manner – not the beer chugging, kegs n’ eggs 9 a.m. tailgate. Let them have their fun.
Welcome to the neighborhoodOur parents worry about us. They have since we were born, and they will until we die. It’s a given. So telling your parents about the dozens of campus crime e-mails we receive (daily) might riddle them with fear. Letting them know of the potential to be held up at a drive-through ATM in the middle of the afternoon might encourage them to take your car away, or perhaps lock you up in your basement, cutting you off from any potential dangers until you’re 30.
Formal wearAt home, your parents see you in a pair of jeans and a conservative shirt, something simple and appropriate. Your mother might have a heart attack if she knew at school you put on the short skirt, the low tops and the high heels when you head out on Friday night. Your mother dressed you like a doll for years to protect you from the ever-gazing eyes of the male population. All that hard work, those pleated skirts and uniformed schooling, thrown out the window the second you step on the campus. Maybe when your parents come to visit, you should throw together that church girl outfit. Just for the day.
