This is the last week of classes before finals and, for some, it’s the last week of real classes ever. With end-of-semester projects and upcoming finals, I view this week as the Professor Plum in the library savagely beating my GPA with a textbook.
In typical pseudo-intellectual collegiate fashion, I enjoy the occasional in-class debate (no matter how asinine). But a 10-page term paper or any exam sends my mind into a panic.
I once studied so hard for a final that I exhausted myself to the point where I passed out during the exam. I remember waking up multiple times during the exam and seeing my teaching assistant scoff at my inadequacy. If I had studied even a third less I could’ve avoided being an epic fail.
But hey, my academic failure isn’t really important in the grand scheme of things. And guess what? Neither is yours. We’re faring quite nicely in comparison to the “greater society.”
Presenting: “Fails that make your fails seem like less of a failure.”
SuriCruiseFashion.Blogspot.com: Someone is tracking a three-year-old’s fashion, and aren’t you glad it’s not you?
Booty Pop panties exist, and Hollywood endorses them. They’re a padded brassiere for a lady’s derrière, pads placed on the balls of her cheeks create a fuller bottom. According to a press release about Booty Pop panties in the consolation gifts bags for non-winning 2009 Oscar nominees, Jennifer Rosenblatt and Kelly Ripa are among many celeb fans. Ripa “may never take them off.” They were also included in the 2009 Emmy nominee consolation gift bags.
Miley Cyrus has never heard a Jay-Z song, yet claims to “put her hands up” when “the taxi man turned on the radio and a Jay-Z song was on.” She admitted this in a Halloween interview (she was dressed as an Native American) for MileyWorld.com, and explains, “I don’t really listen to pop music.” But, isn’t she a teeny boppin’ pop star?
Chefs in China developed a fish dish to live for — a deep-fried fish covered in sauce and served alive complete with a twitching head. It can watch you eat its flesh. It’s called the “yin yang fish” or “dead-and-alive fish.”
The China Post, in 2007, reported that it was a popular dish in China, but many veteran chefs in Taiwan refused to serve it “due to the great cruelty inflicted on the fish.”
Finally, Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott accidentally helped outlaw all Texas marriages by supporting a 2005 amendment to the Texas constitution that was intended to outlaw gay marriage.
Barbara Ann Radnofsky, who is challenging Abbott, was the one to discover the mistake. The amendment defines marriage as a union solely between a man and a woman, but wait — there’s more. As Radnofsky wrote in The Huffington Post, “The [Texas] Constitution provides, in very clear language, that Texas ‘may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage.'” Newsflash: marriage is identical to marriage.
She wants the amendment amended, but Abbott “continues to defend” the amendment on the grounds that it is “constitutional.”
So, good luck to all with presentations, projects and papers — it would be really hard to fail harder than these people.
Shruti Rastogi is a senior journalism major. She can be reached at rastogi at umdbk dot com.
