Tillman and Toomey

Charley Toomey made sure to save a particular voice mail message in June. When the time was right, the Loyola men’s lacrosse coach needed to return that phone call.

Toomey was grieving the loss of 18-year-old Greyhounds attackman Adam Pomper, who died suddenly June 12 of undisclosed causes. Just 17 days after leading his alma mater to its first national championship, Toomey was consoling Pomper’s family and trying to keep his team together amid tragedy.

But Toomey still kept the message from Terrapins men’s lacrosse coach John Tillman, who was easily the first colleague to reach out to him, expressing condolences and offering support. And when the time was right, Toomey called back the coach he had beaten in the national championship less than a month earlier — a man his three daughters call, “Uncle Tills.”

“John has always been somebody I can lean on in any situation,” said Toomey, whose No. 1 Greyhounds host the No. 2 Terps in a title game rematch tomorrow. “He’s always there for his friends. That’s who he is.”

Tillman, who lost a player to a rare infection while serving as an assistant coach at Ithaca College in 1995, talked with Toomey briefly about Pomper. And then the conversation drifted. Neither can remember where to; it was just one of countless lengthy talks they’ve enjoyed since meeting as young assistants in the early-1990s.

The coaches’ friendship blossomed in 1996 when Tillman accepted the assistant coaching position at Navy that Toomey had held the previous two years. Tillman moved into a house less than a block from Toomey’s Annapolis home, and Toomey — who met him at a lacrosse camp a few years earlier — provided a familiar face for the 27-year-old in his new home. Tillman, a bachelor, would regularly walk down the street to eat dinner with Toomey and his wife, Sara.

He got the chance to return the favor when Sara was pregnant with her first child. The Toomeys’ Christmas tree fell apart in their home, leaving Sara with a sizable mess while her husband was out of town.

“John came right over to help me pick stuff up,” Sara said. “It was nice having someone like that a few doors down. He was an awesome support system.”

Tillman was soon coming over for the holidays. He spent this past Christmas Day at Toomey’s home, and he leaves presents for Toomey’s three daughters each year.

“It’s great to have such a close friend like that, and his family has always been great to me,” Tillman said. “They’ve sort of adopted me as their own.”

Tillman and Toomey are even business partners. In the early 2000s, they realized it was tough to recruit players through sub-par clinics and disorganized tournaments. So the pair created Ultimate Performance Lacrosse, Inc., an organization that runs fall and summer clinics for top-level high school players to compete before various college coaches.

“It’s fun,” Tillman said. “We do a couple weekends in the fall and a couple days in the summer.”

The clinics helped the friends build a reputation as stellar recruiters, and they both soon earned head coaching jobs.

Toomey took over at Loyola in 2006 and Tillman led Harvard for three seasons before taking the same position at this university in June 2010.

The coaches quickly scheduled scrimmages against each other. Tillman, though, was hesitant to play against his friend in games that counted.

That was unavoidable in last year’s national championship.

“We wanted to see each other go deep into the tournament,” Toomey said. “But we didn’t want to be put in a position to beat each other.”

Loyola won 9-3, and Toomey decided he wanted to play again. Toomey knows the NCAA tournament selection committee values strength of schedule, and both teams serve as a quality opponent for each other. Also, he figured a national championship rematch could bring exposure to the sport.

Tillman reluctantly agreed, and tomorrow’s game at Loyola will be broadcast nationally on NBC Sports.

“For our kids, it’s exciting to play such a good team,” Tillman said. “It’s also great for the sport after what happened last year.”

Tillman said he won’t speak with Toomey much this week. They each owe their respective teams complete focus on winning the rematch.

But everything will return to normal when Tillman and Toomey leave Ridley Athletic Complex tomorrow. They’ve been close friends in triumph and tragedy. Their bond can weather a game.

“Nothing’s going to change,” Sara said. “I’m sure he’ll be over for dinner some time [next] week.”

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