“In this job I am only mediocre. I am average.” – Staff Sgt. Salvatore Giunta, Medal of Honor recipient.
There isn’t a single honorable veteran who is comfortable being called a hero. It’s one of those shallow words people use when they don’t know what else to say; they say it because they’re ignorant, confused or patronizing. They say it because they’re not allowed to say what they really think most veterans are — which is poor, Southern or stupid. People call veterans heroes because they have no idea what it’s like to serve in the armed forces.
When I was younger, my uncle would tousle my hair whenever he saw me, and I hated it. I thought to myself, “Why can’t he just leave me alone? He doesn’t do that to anybody else, why does he think it’s OK to mess up my hair just because I’m six?” I realize now that my uncle didn’t mean any disrespect — he just didn’t know how else to display his affection. We rarely saw each other, and my uncle didn’t really know anything about me, so he’d mess up my hair and try to remember what grade I was in.
As with my uncle, the problem with most Americans is that they don’t really know anything about veterans. This is what happens when a country outsources war to a segment of its own population: You rarely see us and have trouble relating to our experiences, so you “tousle our hair” with flags and parades.
I’ve long thought of Veterans Day as a bullshit holiday, but I never felt qualified to argue the fact until now. After an honorable discharge from active duty earlier this year, it is, in a sense, my first Veterans Day. I hate it. I hate being a political tool. I hate it when people think I care that their cousin “was in Ramadi, Iraq” or their high-school buddy is “practically in Pakistan.” I hate feeling like I have to justify my so-called “heroism” with stories of blood and valor. I hate that when I’m frustrated by your inane questions you just assume I have post-traumatic stress disorder.
Veterans Day is proof that this country is missing the point. Don’t reduce years of my life — part of who I am — to the lowest common denominator, some empty phrase of gratitude or a pointless parade. Don’t appreciate my service because a calendar told you to, but because you care. As it was when I was six, I’d rather be ignored than misunderstood. Let me explain to you what I think of when I watch Veterans Day programming or read about funding grants issued to “military-friendly” schools:
Politician: “Everyone supports the veterans! They’ve sacrificed so much! I love America, see the pin on my lapel? I totally support the veterans because I’m a patriot! (Vote for me).”
TV producer: “Come on, people, we need a bugler; how will we milk the tear ducts of America without a bugler during our special Veterans Day programming?, cue the Goldman Sachs commercial…
Vet with PTSD: “Thanks for the parade, but, uh, all the noise sort of bothers me. And the people. I don’t really like big crowds of people. It’s not that I’m scared or anything, I just — I think I’d rather stay home.”
Vet with an unwarranted sense of entitlement: “Where’s my veteran discount? I sacrificed, dammit! Maybe if I wear my uniform in public, everyone will know what a hero I am.”
Phone call from Iraq: “Yep, I’m still here. But we have Burger King, so yeah. I don’t really know what else to say.”
Phone call from Afghanistan: “Yep, still h— (EXPLOSION, GUNSHOTS, dial tone).”
Defense contractor: “No. If we hold a moment of silence, I won’t have enough time to count all of my money.”
Student: “This sucks, why do I have to go to class today?”
Republican: “Git ‘r done! You’re my hero, thanks for everything that you do and all that you’ve sacrificed for your country. If it weren’t for you specifically, the terrorists would have won by now!”
Democrat: “Well, I don’t really support the either of the wars, but I can use your cause to create new programs that will increase government spending exponentially.”
College administrator No. 1: “Being so close to Washington, we have a real opportunity to recruit a lot of veterans here, but they tend to be pretty conservative and unintelligent — I mean, why would they join the military in the first place, right? I’m not sure they’d fit in here. We don’t want them mouthing off to the profs.” Admin No. 2: “But what about that new G.I. Bill?! The Veterans Benefit Administration pays full tuition for veterans, and most of them will take more than four years to graduate. Think about how much money they’d bring in!” Admin No. 1: “Hmm. Let’s schedule a nice little dog-and-pony show for Veterans Day, come up with some cutesy press release.”
So what should you do? How can you show us that you appreciate our sacrifice and that you care? How can you understand us? Educate yourself: Read books by Sebastian Junger, Colby Buzzel and Evan Wright. Look up some of the thousands of military blogs that have popped up in the last 10 years. Ask heartfelt questions that aren’t patronizing. Ask us why we think The Hurt Locker sucks. Ask us to tell stories. Ask about our experiences. Treat us as equals. Look us in the eye and shake our hand. Don’t just do it on Veterans Day.
Christopher Haxel is a junior English major. He can be reached at haxel at umdbk dot com.
