Senior English major
Rape is an ugly word for an ugly action — one that too many women have been forced to grapple with.
One of my best friends told me about her rape and how those around her reacted in the worst ways possible. They berated her, questioned her, doubted her. These were good people; they just didn’t know how damaging their reactions were.
Every two minutes, someone is sexually assaulted in the U.S., according to the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network.
One of the phrases most commonly associated with rape culture is “victim-blaming.” Those guilty of victim-blaming argue women need to prevent rape because men have animalistic urges they can’t be held responsible for. Even fellow columnist Tiffany Burba, though she wants to empower women with her argument on this page that they should be able to protect themselves, disregards the fact that if men stopped raping women, then women wouldn’t have to protect themselves.
Requiring women to protect themselves from men excuses men’s actions. If a woman gets raped and the response from everyone — family, friends, the media, strangers — is, “You should have been protecting yourself,” there is a problem.
The obvious question that comes to mind is: How do we stop rape from happening?
Like it or not, we live in a society pervaded by rape culture, despite the crime’s horrible nature. Rape culture is attitudes and practices that “normalize, excuse, tolerate, and even condone rape,” according to clinical psychologist Sally Spencer-Thomas in her book Violence Goes to College: The Authoritative Guide to Prevention and Intervention.
The average gut reaction to someone saying your culture excuses or condones rape might be to push back and reject the notion. People might agree other countries have a rape culture but not America. In America, feminism is widespread and accepted as a movement. Yet if you look close enough, you can see that though people might have good intentions, our supposed ideals about women, men and rape have contributed to a warped sense of who is to blame.
As a University Health Center CARE to Stop Violence peer educator, I teach about sexual assault “risk reducers” — things women can do before going out at night as precautionary measures against being raped. During the presentation, women supply examples, such as carrying mace and using the buddy system, but even if a woman does all the things Tiffany thinks will protect them from assault, a woman could still be raped by a man who wants sex and won’t take no for an answer. Any “protective” measures a woman could take — dressing conservatively, avoiding alcohol, walking in well-lit areas, learning self-defense, carrying a weapon, etc. — don’t guarantee safety.
You wouldn’t ask someone who got robbed on the way home from work what he or she was wearing. You wouldn’t wonder if maybe the person had been “asking for it.” Just like robbery, rape is a crime in which one person exerts power over another. Yet rape victims constantly get asked victim-blaming questions, as though if they had not done something wrong, they wouldn’t be in this situation.
This is a fallacy. Let me be clear: The only way to stop sexual assault is to make rapists stop raping. That’s why initiatives such as the “got consent?” posters and the University Senate’s recently mandated sexual assault education program are so important to stopping this epidemic of blaming a woman for a man’s decision to take her power through rape. We can’t let misguided notions like Tiffany’s set us back to once again claiming victims are responsible for something out of their control.
Maria Romas is a senior English major. She can be reached at mromasdbk@gmail.com.
