It’s an unbelievable yet undoubtedly true fact: Transformers is the coolest movie of the summer. It’s not necessarily the best movie, but it’s certainly the most trendy, most stylish and most visually spectacular film – down to the very small details. The remake of the ’80s cartoon show of the same name had the opportunity to destroy childhood memories as it was rolled out onto the widescreen, 21st-century style. Instead, the filmmakers behind Transformers took every opportunity available to them in this CGI-heavy world to create the coolest roller-coaster ride of the summer.
In fact, it was these filmmakers who were causing the most worry. As of recently, seeing a Michael Bay-directed film means automatically lowering expectations. Since 2001, Bay’s embarrassing streak includes The Island, Bad Boys II, and the infamous Pearl Harbor.
Perhaps the superficial dramatization of the real-life events of Pearl Harbor are tasteless, but at least with Transformers, where the events aren’t based on history, the over-dramatics seem quite at home. To call this film merely exciting and dramatic doesn’t quite explain the true nature of Transformers. The remake isn’t about having the best action, the best special effects or the best plot. The cars aren’t the best, the fighting scenes aren’t the best and the acting just barely scathes by.
No, Transformers isn’t the best film we’ve seen this summer, but it may be the coolest summer blockbuster this decade. It does have the flashiest-looking cars, probably the coolest-looking CGI fighting robots ever and the coolest one-liners this side of Armageddon. What’s more, even with all the amazing CGI special effects, leading actress Megan Fox (Hope & Faith) is still the hottest thing on the screen. Even indie-kid Shia LaBeouf (Surf’s Up), sporting his once-hip Strokes shirt, is entertaining and successful as both hero and goofball.
LaBeouf stars as all-around loser Sam Witwicky, who finds himself knee-deep in a battle between good and evil when he discovers his new hunk-of-junk sports car is actually the alien Bumblebee, in disguise of course. Sam doesn’t know it at first, but as a descendent of the 19th century explorer Captain Archibald Witwicky, Sam holds a major key in the great interplanetary search for the Allspark, an all-powerful cube. His yellow sports car Bumblebee is just one of many robotic aliens who have taken a battle from their home planet of Cybertron to Earth in search of this mystical cube.
This battle between the good-guy Autobots and the bad-guy Decepticons appears to be a simple fight, but nothing about these machines is simple. These monstrously-sized beings transform at will from any kind of vehicle, including helicopters or jet planes, into massive, shiny and destructive killing machines. These creatures, thanks to the Internet, have also each adapted their own individual human personalities – think G.I. Joes with attitude. Many fan-favorite Transformers return, including Frenzy, Bonecrusher, Jazz and Ratchett. The alien characters succeed because they are mainly a more animated, more comedic version of the cartoons, and won’t be a disappointment to long-time fans.
As if he didn’t have enough problems saving the world from certain destruction, the American government seems pretty intent in getting in Sam’s way as well. Actually, most of the problems come from Agent Simmons (John Turturro, The Good Shepherd) of Sector Seven, the lead of an “above top-secret” division with knowledge of extra terrestrial intelligence. Not only is Agent Simmons getting in the way of Sam and the Autobots, but Turturro also fails miserably as a comic relief. If anything, the one-liners by the robotic Autobots are funnier than the usually-reliable Turturro.
In the meantime, Earth is defended by a group of people who could easily pass as supermodels. The American soldiers are led by Sgt. Lennox (Josh Duhamel, Las Vegas) and Sgt. Epps (Tyrese Gibson, Waist Deep). Maggie Madsen (Rachel Taylor, See No Evil) is a super-hot computer-hacker who works for Defense Secretary John Keller (Jon Voight, The Legend of Simon Conjurer). The two team up with Sam and his new girlfriend Mikaela (Fox) in an attempt to save the day. Where’s the President, you ask? Oh, he’s just munching on some “fried ding-dongs,” which is just one of a few cheap-shots made at President Bush throughout the film.
Yes it’s all pretty corny, but Bay and screenwriters Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman do an incredible job of transforming an unbearably cheesy plot into a jaw-dropping spectacle. This film is actually aimed toward the age group of those who grew up with the originals, which means plenty of sexual innuendo and wordplay. This is not a film for little kids, and is therefore a far more enjoyable flick. Even those who were not big fans of the original Transformers can still enjoy the exciting ride provided. Transformers is a summer ride for anyone in their teens or twenties.
Maybe it’s the magic of Steven Spielberg as executive producer, or maybe it’s the amazement at watching Megatron and Optimus Prime battle it out, but Transformers will eclipse all those hesitant expectations you had.
Contact reporter Adam Z. Winer at awiner42@umd.edu.
