Every major sporting event has one or two scheduled events per year that are big news items. Should we care? There are certainly more important things than the Tour de France that deserve attention, such as the increasing crime in College Park’s very own Prince George’s County. Homicides are up 20 percent, rapes 20 percent, robberies 45 percent, and carjackings 48 percent compared to last year at this time, as reported in Tuesday’s Washington Post. And while homicide is up, cancer is a still bigger killer in Prince George’s County. Sprinkled among all of the crime and death reported in daily news are a few stories of humanity overcoming these increasingly daunting threats. It’s that time of year when everyone pays homage to Lance Armstrong’s model of success in the face of danger.
You may know him as a biker, cancer survivor, Sheryl Crow’s man, or the guy with one testicle. None of these came easily for him, which should inspire everyone in the world to go make something of life. Here is a guy who breaks traditional stereotypes of masculinity. The man has one testicle! He defies all pseudo-psychological theories of man’s motivation resting below his waist. You pity Lance for possibly having half the libido of the typical man, but he’s on pace to win the Tour for the seventh straight time. He is one hell of a man. Or else, he works out five hours a day to compensate for whatever he might be lacking in his masculinity. I tried contacting psychological guru Sigmund Freud, but he was unavailable for comment. Does anyone have a Ouija board I can borrow?
Speaking of endings, Lance’s career is drawing to a close. Because Armstrong is said to be in his last Tour de France, Americans won’t be able to follow the race next year with the same appeal it has held in the past few years. Some of us may still watch the Tour on the Outdoor Life Network if only to see who wins when Lance isn’t around. The sporting world might have to look at the baseball All-Star game for the week’s entertainment. If bike racing’s popularity declines for all of America, at least biking can always remain a hobby for Lance.
The sports industry can be thought of as just an economic perpetuation of masculine hobbies. In a mostly patriarchal society, it’s no wonder that sports played all over the major television networks during prime time. If I may stereotype, cooking, style, and shopping have their own networks now that traditionally feminine pursuits have been absorbed into mainstream curiosity. Such promotion encourages everyone to have a hobby. There’s certainly an argument in favor of leisure activities: Boredom sucks.
Lance Armstrong is frequently asked about how difficult it must be to sit on a dinky bike seat for many hours a day and what a relief it must be to get off that bike. But look at Lance! His life was threatened with cancer, he lost a testicle, had some bouts with alcoholism, and divorced his first wife (though these occurrences aren’t all directly related). Lance looks at how difficult life is and thinks how great it must be to get on his bike and have some leisure.
So what is the model of success that Lance Armstrong offers us when he’s winning the Tour de France every year? It’s that with all the hardships and pitfalls of life, it’s great to find something you love. It’s a lucky person who can make a career out of it, too. Sleep is just about the best hobby some of us come up with, and we’ll spend a third or more of life doing that. Lance might die having spent a tenth of his life sweating on a bicycle. It’s a whole tenth of his life in which he feels alive; biking is Lance’s existential proof that he exists. What do you do to prove you’re alive?
Joe Dowgiallo is a senior English major. He can be reached at jdowg@umd.edu.
