Snore. Get together or move on already, Nick and Jess.
With a title like “First Date,” this week’s episode of New Girl seemed promising from the start. Maybe Jess and Nick would finally get together! Or perhaps they would at least acknowledge their feelings for one another!
But no, that would be too easy. The happy ending would come too soon, and the only plotline the show seems to focus on would evaporate if Nick and Jess actually decided to get together.
As “First Date” opens, Nick and Jess are still incredibly confused about what their relationship actually is. In order to figure things out, Jess turns to Cece, while Nick turns to Tran, that creepy Asian man who took Nick to water therapy.
Nick, as always with Tran, comes away enlightened, and decides to ask Jess out on a date. He, of course, does so awkwardly, barely eeking out the word “food” and a thumbs up toward Jess. She, however, agrees to go, thinking the date is actually two friends going out to dinner.
Nick enlists the help of Schmidt and Winston to help him get ready, and looks dapper when he is clean-shaven and in a suit. However, after he tells his friends that his date is with a “Yolanda Winston,” the two realize Nick is going on a date with Jess.
This appalls both Schmidt and Winston – they are terrified of losing Nick, as he holds them together. So the two attempt to concoct a plan that would ruin the date – on which involves convincing a homeless man to sing “Father Figure” to the couple while shirtless.
Meanwhile, Jess and Nick begin their date at a fancy restaurant. It feels forced; the two barely make eye contact. And to make matters worse, Jess’s ex, Russell, is also at the restaurant on a date.
Eventually Nick and Jess decide to ditch the date and just get drinks as friends. As they drink, they become more relaxed, and it seems like the two are actually on a date. Whether it’s the alcohol kicking in, or just the fact that the two are more in their element, the scene at the bar provides hope that the two can actually work.
They decide to go back to dinner, and things get awkward again when Russell tells them they are really something. This confuses the pair, so they run after Russell and his date and ask what he meant. Russell asks them to define the relationship, and when they cannot, it becomes clear that something is wrong.
Nick and Jess are unable to completely let out their feelings through the entire episode. Jess says she wants something platonic, while it’s clear she wants more – she is just afraid of getting hurt. And Nick does not want to push it, so the two are left in the friend zone once more.
While Nick and Jess are unable to grow, Winston and Schmidt are. The two find a homeless man, and in exchange for the use of their television and a sandwich, he agrees to help the two ruin Nick’s date. But when outside Dave takes over their bathroom, both Winston and Schmidt are at a loss for what to do.
Eventually, Schmidt crawls through the sky light and starts to enter the bathroom when the homeless man starts shaving Schmidt’s legs. Schmidt screams and Winston busts into the bathroom, stopping outside Dave and, according to Schmidt, saving his life.
The encounter brings Schmidt and Winston closer, allowing them to realize that Nick is not actually the glue that holds them together. This moment is a nice tribute to friendship, which has been happening more and more on New Girl.
Tidbits:
Beer gargling is a turn-on.
So is asking someone to open a jar for you.
“You can’t outrun the Jewish”
If jaywalking gets you more than three tickets in one night, you’re doing it right.
Winston will always have worse dates than you.
