Documentaries released so far this year have tackled tough issues such as global warming, the environment and the health care industry. Yet the latest in a string of serious films is the story of the campaign trail of Jonathon Sharkey, 2008 presidential candidate and – wait for it – a self-proclaimed vampire.
The film, Impaler, follows Sharkey on the campaign trail during the 2006 Minnesota governor’s race. According to filmmaker Tray White, the executive producer and director of the movie, making Impaler was a spur-of-the-moment decision that led to eight months of filming. For the past few weeks, Impaler has been shown at the Hoff Theater, and tonight Sharkey will appear at the Hoff to answer questions about the film.
“I saw a quote of [Sharkey’s] on a website late at night – it said, ‘Unlike most politicians, I won’t hide my evil side,'” White said. “I called him up and didn’t really know what I was doing besides calling some vampire from Minnesota up very late at night. The next day, I was on a plane.”
The film, a true indie flick, was the result of only two cameras, two cameramen and one politician.
“I started with the camera and 10 tapes, and along the way I picked up another camera guy, and together the two of us kind of tried to unravel this weird little story,” White said.
And what a weird little story it is.
“I am an ordained Satanic dark priest, which means I follow Lucifer,” Sharkey said in an interview before his appearance on the campus tonight. But Sharkey, who is running with the Vampires, Witches and Pagans party he created in 2005, said he wants people to know he is not a member of the Church of Satan – in fact, he thinks the Church of Satan is the “equivalent of al-Qaeda” because of its support of hate and prejudice, he said.
“I kind of look at the fact that Lucifer was 100 percent right when he rebelled against God,” Sharkey said. “What did our founding fathers do to King George and the British monarchy when they declared their independence? They technically rebelled. If Lucifer had never rebelled against God, our forefathers would never ever have rebelled, probably, against British monarchy, which means we would still be under British control. You have to give the devil his due,” he said, explaining his own roots in religious beliefs.
According to Sharkey, when Pope John Paul II died on Sharkey’s birthday in 2005, websites quickly began surfacing declaring him as the anti-Christ – and soon, Sharkey found himself routinely stalked by people thinking they were vampire hunters.
“You get one of these idiot Buffy the vampire slayers who literally try to take wooden stakes and put them through people’s hearts,” Sharkey said. “A month and a half ago, I was in the hospital because of a vampire-hunting society trying to do me in [through poisoning].”
Yet Sharkey (who, besides being a Satanic priest, also considers himself a “vampire-witch” because he practices the dark arts and drinks blood as a source of spiritual energy) wants to be known for more than just his unorthodox religious practices. But he admits it is hard for people to take him seriously due to his dark and quirky reputation (Sharkey has a past in professional boxing and wrestling and is currently recording an album of Elvis covers).
And despite the public’s preoccupation with his religion and vampire-witch status, Sharkey has serious plans for the country if he becomes president, he said. First of all, he intends to take a serious bite (get it?) out of crime.
“I’ll make the evil-doers and those who prey upon the innocent wish they were never conceived,” Sharkey said. And while reducing crime rates is not such an unusual political platform, his form of capital punishment is a little unorthodox: Sharkey plans to use his police force, the “death-dealers,” to capture criminals, who he would then impale on his impaling stick.
And if elected, Sharkey plans to begin withdrawing American troops from Iraq (and impale the current president, George W. Bush, as soon as he is sworn in).
While Sharkey’s personal “seer,” or psychic, has predicted he will not win the upcoming 2008 election, Sharkey still plans to run again in 2012 (probably due to the fact his seer says he will win that election, and subsequently be sworn into office in 2013).
“[The number] 13 is a very symbolic number in my community,” Sharkey said. And if 2013 doesn’t work out, how about 2113? Because of his vampirism, Sharkey said he is destined to live a longer life than normal “mortals.”
But the average person must be curious: If Sharkey is a witch, why can’t he just wave his hand and automatically become president? Yet according to Sharkey, he is morally opposed to using his powers to alter the outcome of an election or for personal gain in general (although he does admit he has subconsciously influenced people magically in the past).
“Without realizing it, I tap into … brains a little bit,” he said.
In spite of it all – the dancing visions of impaling President Bush, accidentally controlling others’ minds and drinking blood – “Jonathon is a human being, and he’s humanized in this movie,” White said.
“[The movie] looks like it would be a cartoon, a mockumentary, but it’s definitely real,” White added. “Anyone who wants to see a movie with a good story and lots of fun twists will like it.”
Impaler is playing at the Hoff Theater today at noon and Jonathon Sharkey will be at the Hoff tonight at 9 p.m. hosting a Q&A session.
cpomeroy@umd.edu
