When we were younger, Valentine’s Day was something we looked forward to. We gave each other construction paper cards filled with conversation hearts candy, and everybody went home happy. Now that we’re older, Valentine’s Day can be stressful. For single women, it’s an excuse to eat too much ice cream and watch sappy movies until their eyes swell up. Men who find themselves unattached in February band together to drink until a barstool becomes attractive.
The most stress tied to this holiday, however, rests on the boyfriends of the world. The boyfriend is responsible for planning a special evening for the woman he loves, and on top of that, he’s required to present her with lavish gifts not long after he’s finished buying her stuff for Christmas.
Many boyfriends may still be recovering from the stress of this Valentine’s Day, but they can relieve themselves of some stress next year if they keep it simple.
Remembering the holiday can be hard enough; on top of the winter holidays, her birthday and any tiny anniversary they share, a boyfriend is now forced to remember that a random day in the middle of February has significance as well. Even if he manages to mark his calendar correctly and find a present he thinks is suitable for his girlfriend, he will still worry about whether she will like it.
There are too many opportunities for a guy to slip up when in fact simplicity is key. I don’t know if they see it as a competition, but it always seems boyfriends feel the need to one-up each other or previous Valentine’s Days. Because of this, they find themselves going overboard and venturing into the unknown realm of girldom to find gifts. Guys think things that make a woman feel sexy, such as lingerie, are surefire ways for both members of a couple to enjoy the evening. Wrong. If you end up buying something horribly tacky or a size too big or too small, you’ll find yourself going solo for the next holiday that comes around.
To stop this downward spiral, there are three things I suggest: pinot grigio, 12 roses and lots of lubrication. When used in concert, these items can salvage even the worst of evenings. No woman, no matter how angry, can turn down a gentleman caller escorted by fine wine, beautiful flowers and a bottle of KY Warming Liquid.
OK … maybe not. It might’ve been situations similar to this that caused these men to find themselves in trouble in the first place. So instead of catering to what you think every woman wants for Valentine’s Day, focus on what the woman in your life cares about. Unfortunately, blowing off or destroying Valentine’s Day cannot be made up for with a belated Valentine’s Day dinner and a dozen roses (which, if you had done it right the first time, would’ve saved you all the trouble you’re in now).
Instead, boyfriends should take the time to find something unique about their girlfriends — maybe something that made you fall in love with her to begin with — and work from there. If she’s a sports fanatic, surprise her early with tickets to opening day at Camden Yards. Maybe she prefers the city to the humdrum atmosphere of College Park, which would be the perfect reason to take her to New York or Philadelphia for a weekend.
Whatever you plan, don’t worry about breaking into your little brother’s piggy bank to help secure some extra funds. If she really cares about you, you don’t need to give her diamonds or a weekend at the Ritz-Carlton to make it up to her. By putting a little extra effort into a backup plan, you’ll show her how your previous actions were a fluke and you really care for her. You’ll also remind yourself that with a little less procrastination, next year could be less painful and more enjoyable for you both.
Lissa Barker is a junior journalism major. She can be reached at ebarker@umd.edu.
