OK, so here’s the thing: I love freshmen. You guys are so cute and innocent. You’re “undecided” and excited about everything. You even make me laugh sometimes. Like the boy who told me he was majoring in sophomores. Or the girl, already fully dressed to go out, who was crazily shaving in the bathroom sink. I get a special kick out of the guy from my hometown who, whenever he sees me, says, “Wait, I didn’t know you went here!”   But not all students at this university are like me, and they may be neither as amused nor as forgiving as I am. So I’m going to give you a few tips, my cute, innocent, undecided kids.   1. Continue to exclaim how cool everything here is and ask us questions for which the answer is literally right in front of you. Everything really is cool here, and your excitement and confusion give us a laugh.   2. You are not the only people heading to class in the morning. So when you and 15 of your newest friends block the sidewalk, no one is amused. The sidewalks are made to accommodate more than one person, but “more than one” does not mean your entire floor. By blocking the sidewalk, you and your enormous group of friends force the rest of us onto the soggy, disgusting grass. And I know that if you were off to Tydings Hall to sleep through a two-hour lecture on game theory, you’d want to do it with dry feet, too.   3. You know how when you walk into the North Campus Diner, it seems like all the lines are so long? Well, first of all, that’s the Diner for you. But secondly — and this is of course just an option — maybe you should glance at the other cashiers, soda machines and milk dispensers and give them a shot.    Just like when you found the absolutely perfect comforter for your bed and then heard that the girl/guy/creature that you hate on your hall actually had the nerve to buy the exact same bedspread, there is more than one of everything. Try them sometimes. Doing this might even make it so the line you create from the cashiers to the value-meal section is actually able to be conquered by human means.  And some of us might even get to class on time.   4. Maps are great. They tell you where you are and where you’re going, and they make crinkly noises when you unfold them so you can pretend you’re Indiana Jones unfolding a map to the Lost Ark. Who doesn’t love maps?    Let me tell you who: everyone who is standing behind you while you unfold what appears to be at least three campuses on paper. These people are further irritated if you then insist on walking into things while you attempt to read your gargantuan map. And when I say things, I mean people. And when I say people, I mean me.   Really, who wants to be in the midst of booking it to class only to be bludgeoned by a map-wielding freshman? And even if he avoids hitting you, that freshman will still create a roving roadblock with his enormous map that absolutely must be held from one unfolded edge to the other.   Look, like I said, I love you guys. I find the above errors understandable and occasionally amusing. But others are not as kind as me. So please, for the sake of you, me and my hopefully dry napping-feet come game theory, heed my advice.   Laura Frost is a sophomore government and politics major. She can be reached at frost at umdbk dot com.