With the Homecoming Comedy Show behind us and SEE announcing that Breaking Bad cast member R.J. Mitte will soon be lecturing at the university, a group of Diamondback editors got to thinking about the people we’d most like to see make an appearance, whether it’s at Comcast Center, Stamp Student Union or Cole Field House. Here are the 10 we came up with:

 

 

1. Patrick Stewart

The indomitable captain of the U.S.S. Enterprise in Star Trek: The Next Generation and the ever-wise Prof. Xavier of the X-Men series, Stewart is a stalwart of the acting world. As a renowned Shakespearean actor, he would inevitably draw theater buffs as well as sci-fi geeks, which would be awesome. In addition to having a voice that makes angels swoon, Stewart has one of the most immaculate bald heads to grace this side of the Alpha Quadrant. A product of an abusive marriage, Stewart is also a major proponent against domestic violence, a topic he’s given lectures on in the past, spawning a moving viral video that everyone should watch.

2. Quentin Tarantino  

The mind behind some of the most critically acclaimed films of our time has been a popular focal point for talking heads for years. Pretty much every time a new Tarantino flick comes out, some newsies discuss gun violence or race or historical accuracy ad nauseam on daytime TV. While he was certainly not a star student — he never went to college and he learned film by working at a video rental store for years — he has some of the most intriguing, thought-provoking and just flat-out provoking responses to questions of violence, race and other social issues. He’s a spectacle as a guest at any event, whether it’s the Oscars or those daytime talk shows, and he would surely be one of the most striking speakers to have ever come to this university.

3. Sen. Wendy Davis

A state senator, Davis (D-Texas) is another speaker the campus community would benefit from receiving. She led an 11-hour filibuster on June 25 to prevent a bill to ban abortions after 20 weeks of pregnancy from being voted on in the Republican-heavy body. In addition to being a strong proponent of women’s rights in the Texas senate, Davis earned a law degree from Harvard Law School as  a single mother — for which Texas Republicans mocked her. She would be incredibly valuable for the student body to hear from because of her strong convictions and ability to intellectually argue her point.
We should stand with Wendy.

4. Neil deGrasse Tyson

Fresh on the heels of the 16-day government shutdown, in which NASA was one of the most affected government organizations, who better to come to this university than NASA’s biggest and coolest proponent? Tyson, one of the most badass astrophysicists in the country, has long been an advocate for increasing NASA’s funding. His argument that one penny on each tax dollar will be enough for the agency to make enormous leaps forward is compelling and inspiring, a quality befitting of the entrepreneurial spirit this university is trying to foster. Tyson, the host of FOX’s upcoming show Cosmos: A SpaceTime Odyssey, regularly gives lectures on physics and philosophy, and we’d love to see him.

5. Larry David

David is an alumnus of this university, his daughter might come here and he’s hilarious. Whether in a stand-up set or a lecture, the match seems too good, and we don’t really understand why he hasn’t made a public appearance here already. The Curb Your Enthusiasm star is second to maybe only Louis CK in comedians we’d like to see. But we’re trying to be realistic, and the match just seems too perfect. We think David would describe his time here as “pretty, pretty, prettaaaaay good.” 

6. Doris Kearns Goodwin

A regular talk show guest, contributor to Ken Burns documentaries and author of Team of Rivals: The Political Genius of Abraham Lincoln  — one of the definitive pieces of work on Lincoln — Goodwin will have the history and government and politics departments filling enough seats to put recommended capacities to the test. Goodwin is the defining presidential historian of our generation. Besides, she’s constantly in Washington for interviews and research, so it’s just a hop, skip and a jump up the Green Line away.

7. Jessica Valenti

Valenti, lifelong feminist and creator of Feministing.com, should unquestionably be asked to speak at this university. She has been acknowledged as the pioneer of online feminism, which gives her a direct connection with students. As a generation brought up with the Internet constantly at our fingertips, it is imperative that students have a means of discovering feminist notions online and making their own decisions about them — and Valenti has made that possible. Additionally, in light of the recent University Senate mandate, requiring sexual assault education for all incoming students, it would be incredibly fitting to have Valenti come speak. Her four books have all covered the ideas of slut-shaming and victim blaming, and she would be a wonderful, eloquent voice to explain the necessity of these educational measures to students.

8. Anthony Bourdain

Bourdain is cool. We’re talking recovered drug addict but talk about weed with native Moroccans for the sake of storytelling cool. His CNN series, Anthony Bourdain: Parts Unknown, is CNN done right: edgy, feature-styled and informative; apolitical and still significant. Though hearing Bourdain’s thoughts on the likes of College Park and university culinary sweethearts — from D.P. Dough to Green Tidings — might be disheartening, a discussion of food and culture would be remarkable. Slap him on a panel with William Rogers, executive chef for Good Tidings, and you’ve got a scrumptious match.

9. Bill Murray

Picture this: You’re walking across McKeldin Mall and suddenly, someone covers your eyes from behind. You hear a deep, sugary voice say, “Guess who?” You quickly around turn to see Bill Murray’s face — “No one will ever believe you,” he says, then he walks away. If Bill Murray came to the campus, that dream could be a reality. Murray’s a quirky guy and he’s been acting since 1973. Groundhog Day? Ghostbusters? Lost in Translation? It’s hard to find someone who hasn’t seen one of his movies. He would be a bigger star than past guest lecturers and he is the kind of colorful personality students would love — and need — to see.
 

10. Sen. Cory Booker

We need to hop on the Booker train before it leaves the station. Much like a starry-eyed President Obama, who gave a rousing speech at the 2004 Democratic National Convention, Booker is still relatively unknown. Booker assumed office as New Jersey senator just yesterday, but many consider his political future to be bright. The Democratic former mayor of Newark, N.J., is especially well known for his Twitter presence; Booker regularly interacts with admirers and detractors alike, tweeting everything from fixing potholes, to corny Christmas puns. While an appearance might get a little political, with Booker potentially eyeing the White House down the road, he’d still be great to see. And the event could provide some killer profile pictures if things work out for him.
 
Photos courtesy of Wikimedia commons.