While learning Arabic is a large step toward understanding Jordanian society, it is insufficient when it comes to communicating with the culture. I’ve realized that speech is only one part of communicating effectively; a “second language” in every conversation must be acknowledged.
After deep thought and analysis (or at least reading a few short articles for my class on Jordanian culture), I came to realize one of the main differences in communication between Jordanians and Americans: Jordanians live in a high context society, while Americans are relatively low-context. What does this mean? The context in which words are spoken becomes just as, if not more, important than the words themselves. For example, in Jordan, if I arrive home from school, see my lunch at the table and my host mother asks me if I am hungry and want to eat, it’s not really a question: It’s lunchtime! If my cab driver is about to light the last cigarette in a pack and he asks me if I want it, he’s not actually offering – he’s just being polite. The USA, being low-context, tends to take spoken language at face value. If an American friend offers me his last bag of chips, it’s because he doesn’t want them anymore – not because he wants to be respectful.
My host mother once told me a story of how she ran afoul of these cultural differences. Visiting her extended family in Scotland, her host had asked her if she was hungry. In Jordanian society, it is impolite to admit that you are hungry, as it could be implied that the host hasn’t been generous. The general rule is to deny an offer for food twice and only accept the offer the third time. My host mother didn’t see any food on the table, so she assumed that it wasn’t an appropriate time to eat. “No, thank you,” she answered, assuming that the host would then insist that she eat something. But her Scottish relative, operating in a different cultural context, took her response at face-value, thinking that my host mother just didn’t want food. My host mother now laments that while visiting her family, she didn’t eat for three whole days (an exaggeration, I’m sure), refusing to be impolite and ask for food.
Luckily, I picked up on these cultural differences and have not been forced to endure any particularly embarrassing situations. But I wouldn’t be having a successful experience in Jordan if I was still trying to live in an American mindset. It turns out I haven’t just had to learn to speak the language – I’ve had to learn to speak the culture.
Ari Gore is a junior government and politics major. He can be reached at arigore@gmail.com.
