After returning from the Long Island funeral of sophomore Nicole Schiffman, a member of her sorority, Phi Sigma Sigma, said last night was their “chance to breathe” after an exhausting and emotional five days.
The College Avenue block where Phi Sigma Sigma’s house was unusually somber last night as members from the entire Greek community joined the sorority for an open house to gather, hug and remember Schiffman, who was shot while visiting a childhood friend in Tempe, Ariz. for her 20th birthday early Sunday.
The house’s front door stood covered in letters written by her sorority sisters that recalled her memory as a woman who loved life up until her last moments celebrating with her friend, Carol Kestenbaum a student at Arizona State University.
While Schiffman’s family sat Shiva – the traditional Jewish gathering at the house of a mourner – in their home in Merrick, N.Y., those who attended described the mood at Phi Sigma Sigma as similar to that of a Shiva house in College Park.
Sorority sisters and friends traded stories about Schiffman, and Rabbi Eli Bachman of Chabad provided spiritual support for members and for grieving sisters, leading them in an emotional round of traditional Jewish evening prayers. Neighboring fraternities and sororities brought flowers and food to the sisters.
Before the open house began, nearly a thousand members from various sororities attended a speech hosted by the Panhellenic Association on the a relatively new phenomenon of quarter-life crises – similar to mid-life crises – that an increasing number of women in their early 20s now experience. Featured speaker Christine Hassler, author of “20 Something 20 Everything,” spoke on her self-help book for college women struggling with identity issues.
Although the lecture focused mostly on building identity and character, undertones of grief surrounding Schiffman’s death echoed throughout the speech. Scheduled before Schiffman’s death, its timing came when many friends and acquaintances were still struggling to come to terms with the loss.
“We took this time as an opportunity when the community was together to address what happened,” said Elise Falcicchio, Vice President of Administrative Affairs for the Panhellenic Association. “It’s been a hard time so it was good to share support with one another.”
Many said, however, its theme of focusing on inner-beauty was a break from the week’s somber tone.
“I felt responsible to do my program and distract students from the recent tragedy,” Hassler said.
Back at Phi Sigma Sigma, members of the Greek community, as well as outsiders who didn’t even know Schiffman gathered at the open house to remember Schiffman, a journalism major.
“None of us really knew what to do, but we all wanted to do something,” said Rachel McGughey, President of the neighboring sorority Alpha Delta Pi.
Interfraternity Council President Kevin Nunes said it was an important gesture in such a close-knit community.
“When a chapter loses a member, it affects all of us,” he said.
In the past, the Greek community has held candlelight vigils to honor fallen members, and while the sorority hasn’t yet planned any similar events, Nunes said that the sisters were still too consumed in shock.
Vice President of Student Affairs Linda Clement said that so far there are no plans for an on-campus memorial.
Nunes said the sorority had plans to create a memorial fund in Schiffman’s honor, but the sorority sisters had not yet announced details last night.
At the funeral yesterday, family members said donations could be made in Schiffman’s name to the Schnider’s Children’s Hospital Fund in Manhasset, N.Y.
Contact reporters Ben Slivnick and Cassie Bottge at slivnickdbk@gmail.com.