The 24 Shop on North Campus is a godsend, a place where students can stock up on food and basic supplies at any time of the day. But have you ever thought to yourself, “What are these students buying in there? What are their likes and dislikes?” No, of course you haven’t, because you’re not crazy. But I am crazy, and I took it upon myself to investigate the 24 Shop. Here are a few odd things I noticed. You’re welcome.
Bottled water is inexplicably popular:
This is a picture of the shop’s bottled water rack on Monday.
What? How? Why? Why are students buying this much bottled water? Did society collapse when I wasn’t looking and leave us without access to tap water? I mean, you do realize bottled water doesn’t come from some untainted spring high in the Ozarks. More likely than not, it is recycled, repurposed water. In other words, it’s poo-water. You’re paying exorbitant prices for poo-water when you could be getting free water from the nearest sink. Do you not realize your madness?
Regular chocolate milk is apparently for losers
So here is the frighteningly wide selection of Nesquik milk flavors on sale at the 24 Shop. You have your vanilla milk, double-chocolate milk and banana-strawberry milk. But wait, where’s just plain chocolate milk? Oh, it’s relegated to the row farthest to the right.
There are several rows of double-chocolate milk, but only one row of chocolate milk. Huh? I guess one is more popular than the other. Is normal chocolate milk not enough anymore? Do we really need to double down on the chocolate? Curious, I decided to give the double-chocolate milk a try.
My god, it tastes like liquefied fudge! Why would people do this to their bodies?
When it comes to Rice Krispies Treats, variety is not the spice of life:
There is no item more in flux at the 24 Shop than the Rice Krispies Treats. Look, here they are:
And now watch them disappear a mere 24 hours later.
Wow … but what about the other two Rice Krispies flavors?
What? No love for Caramel Chocolatey Chunk or Double Chocolatey Chunk? I mean, the ordinary Rice Krispies treat is essentially just a block of sugar, so you’d think students would appreciate the variety. I had to get to the bottom of this mystery.
Cloying. That’s the word. These flavors are so unbearably sweet that it was like playing diabetic Russian roulette with my mouth. Mystery solved.