In the 2022 film Fresh, Daisy Edgar-Jones’ protagonist, Noa, begins a whirlwind relationship with seemingly charming and empathetic love interest, Steve, portrayed by Sebastian Stan. Noa, increasingly disillusioned with dating after some less-than-desirable online matches, is refreshed by her chance encounter at the grocery store with Steve — until he kidnaps her and reveals himself to be a cannibal looking to sell her body parts.
The premise sounds like a textbook bizarre horror movie situation, but speaks to something real and pervasive in the hesitant, fearful atmosphere of modern dating, exacerbated by online dating apps.
A 2022 study from the Pew Research Center found that about two-thirds of women less than 50 year old who have tried online dating have experienced harassment while using dating apps. Three years earlier, a survey by Columbia Journalism Investigations found that about a third of respondents had been sexually assaulted by someone they met through a dating app.
Members of the LGBTQ+ community are almost twice as likely to use dating apps, according to the Pew study. Online communities have long been a haven for LGBTQ+ people who face discrimination or ostracization in public, but the risks of online dating are present for everyone.
While the concepts that horror films explore can be fantastical and employ surrealist, exaggerated imagery, they’re rooted in a visceral sense of fear and primal danger that women are most likely to experience in the early stages of a relationship — the grey area between trust and “stranger danger.”
Films like Fear and TV shows like You are derivative in their use of the man-stalking-woman trope, but they tap into something real. About 43 percent of women in the Pew study reported being re-contacted after already telling someone they were not interested.
Unfortunately, many dating apps are falling behind other online platforms when it comes to keeping users safe. Companies like Uber have been able to mitigate some of the risk of its platform with new features, such as encrypted audio recordings taken during rides to be used in safety reports and in-app alerts if a ride is leaving the expected route or ends unexpectedly.
The most popular dating app on the market is Tinder, with about 79 percent of online dating users aged 18 to 29 reporting use at some point. While the app has recently begun implementing new safety features, Tinder’s parent company, Match Group, has come under fire for failing to remove reported assaulters who continue to use their apps.
Match Group also owns popular dating apps Hinge, OkCupid and Plenty of Fish, all of which have been implicated in a recent investigation co-published by The Markup, The Guardian and the 19th which found that banned users were able to create second accounts or switch to another app owned by the same company without being removed or facing consequences.
The domination of dating apps is nothing new, but it is symbolic of a larger shift in general relationships toward more online communication. After the pandemic and what the U.S. Surgeon General has coined the subsequent “epidemic of loneliness and isolation,” younger generations whose social growth was stunted might find it easier to turn to apps for friends and significant others than to try and make connections in-person.
But whether this tendency away from face-to-face communication is a positive or negative change to the dating sphere is hard to pinpoint. There’s no proof that online relationships are more dangerous than in-person ones, and oftentimes the same marginalized groups are at risk of harm in either scenario.
To feel safer on a personal level, it can help to minimize the amount of information you choose to share — such as your workplace or social media accounts. Investigative reporter and Dating Apps Reporting Project researcher Emily Dugdale, recommends that users treat every match with proper precaution and refrain from relying on the information provided in-app.
Dating is a two-way street, and it’s imperative that both parties are able to feel safe and comfortable while setting and respecting each other’s boundaries.
While it isn’t fun to think about the risks at hand, the best defense against potential dangers is to use your best judgment. If things don’t feel right or you feel uncomfortable, the most effective option is to walk away from things. It can make all the difference between a rom-com and a horror movie.
