You once were standing, with a cap perched crookedly on your head and a gown draped over your shoulders, at the precipice of your future. 

You survived high school alongside the handful of other gay kids in your hometown, but that small pond was about to get a lot bigger at not just any college, but the University of Maryland — a solidly blue state school just less than 10 miles from the United States capital. 

You were about to find yourself, your community and all those classic coming-of-age movie moments you missed out on for years. Only problem is, you may not have found them here either.

To put it lightly, College Park is not the center of the gay universe. It can sometimes feel like the farthest from it. Whether you arrived single or, like me, made the unfortunate choice of bringing a doomed high school relationship with you to college, there’s a realization many LGBTQ+ freshmen make when they arrive at this university — it’s pretty straight.

Despite not having a dominant Greek Life culture — it’s only about 16 percent of the undergraduate student population — and a renowned LGBTQ+ Equity Center, finding a distinct LGBTQ+ subculture on campus can feel like an impenetrable obstacle, especially when you’re confined to the freshman dorms. 

If you arrived dreaming of flings, dates, situationships, or, dare I say full-fledged relationships, where should you turn?

For many, that answer is dating apps. Although your straight friends may look down upon Tinder and Hinge, they don’t understand that those are the upper echelon of digital gay dating. Grindr has always been a game of chance, while emerging website-based platforms such as Sniffies introduce a new level of sketchy behavior, disregarding all illusions of safety and risk mitigation. Tinder is probably your best bet, although I’m a little biased, it’s where I met my now-boyfriend a couple years ago. 

A good rule of thumb is to stick to the main industry players — chances are you’re not finding the love of your life on fringe apps and websites.

But understandably, many view all of the apps as bottomless pits of frustrations and dead-ends. For them, bars are their chosen hunting ground, but they too have their shortcomings. First, and most obvious, College Park lacks a gay bar. This basic life necessity, which can even be found in the college towns by comparatively more conservative colleges such as the University of Kansas and West Virginia University, is nowhere to be found among College Park’s already thin bar lineup. From the few options, Looney’s Pub emerges as a frontrunner, with the Greek Life-dominated RJ Bentley’s likely being your worst bet. 

Really, if you want a real possibility of late-night romance, you’ll have to head south.

Washington, D.C., is the gayest place in the country, with 14.3 percent of its population identifying as a LGBTQ+, according to a report from UCLA’s Williams Institute. The city boasts dozens of gay bars across multiple neighborhoods. 

If you’re just starting out, Pitchers D.C. is always an easy night out. Located on a bustling throughway in Adams Morgan, the gay sports bar boasts a younger crowd and a number of themed rooms, ranging from speakeasy to dancefloor. 

U Street’s Kiki features an inclusive lineup of weekly events, from Friday night drag shows to weekend dance parties complete with go-go dancers and DJs. For the already initiated, Green Lantern’s shirtless Thursdays are a Washington, D.C., classic, promising free drinks for those willing to show a little skin.

Whether or not you decide to take your exploration into the city or not, LGBTQ+ communities and relationships are out there, even if it doesn’t feel that way at first. With the exception of an unfortunate slur hurled my way during an evening walk through Old Town freshman year, my experiences here have been vast improvements over high school. 

Take it slow, get out of your comfort zone and trust that the right people will find you — even if it isn’t in your freshman dorm.