Views expressed in opinion columns are the authors’ own.
In Spring 2021, Jude Maloney, a close friend to co-author M Pease and an advocate and cornerstone of the LGBTQ+ community at the University of Maryland, tragically died.
In navigating their grief and watching those around them grieve, Pease noticed that while many instructors were well-meaning, some often hesitated to offer meaningful support or flexibility, unsure how to react when a loss falls outside of traditional notions of immediate family members.
Student bereavement is more prevalent than many might realize. Research suggests that 40 to 50 percent of college students report the death of someone significant to them — such as family members or close friends — in the last two years, and 22 to 30 percent of college students are in the first 12 months of grief. Despite these realities, this university has no formal student bereavement policy to support them in their time of need. Instead, this university’s excused absence policy vaguely lists “death in the family” as a “compelling [circumstance] beyond the student’s control.”
This leaves grieving students to navigate an inconsistent and often unsupportive system, where compassion hinges on the discretion of individual professors and ultimately requires profound self-advocacy during a time of grief. This practice is overwhelming, confusing, inefficient and harmful for students and instructors alike.
Inspired by Maloney’s advocacy and the experiences of our community, we, the authors of this opinion column, have sponsored legislation in the University Senate to establish a formal student bereavement policy.
The absence of a comprehensive student policy contrasts the university’s stated values of inclusivity and respect, especially given the disproportionate impact on students from marginalized communities — particularly LGBTQIA+ students, students of color and international students.
Under this university’s bereavement policy for non-bargaining employees, leave is provided for losses falling under a definition of immediate family, such as a spouse, parent, child, grandparent, grandchild, sibling, in-law or step relative. While the existence of this policy for certain employees is a step in the right direction, it is still concerning that it does not apply to all employees and, critically, no policy protections exist for the unique needs of students in the wake of loss.
Furthermore, this definition of immediate family is based on a white, Eurocentric and heteronormative nuclear family model that is decreasingly common across the U.S. and inherently fails to capture a culturally diverse understanding of family in recognizing chosen family members not defined by biological or legal relations, particularly for LGBTQ+ people and people of color. In a survey of 750 trans people across Maryland, chosen family was listed as part of 70.1 percent of respondents’ support systems while family of origin was listed only for 47.5 percent of respondents.
Defining bereavement policies in terms of immediate family or leaving the decision up to individual instructors as to what constitutes a valid loss unjustly limits the people one is officially sanctioned or “allowed” to grieve. In effect, students whose losses fall outside the confines of immediate family are left disenfranchised.
Professors already shoulder numerous responsibilities. To place the responsibility on them to decide the appropriate amount of leave for grieving students only adds to their burden and creates inconsistencies across different classes. A clear policy that guarantees consistent support for bereaved students removes any guesswork and ensures greater equity.
Imagine a professor who is unwilling to accommodate students’ needs by strictly adhering to the letter of the law when it comes to university policy. Under the current excused absence policy, providing little to no accommodation for grief is ultimately permissible, which could cause serious academic and financial consequences. This system falls short of embodying the “community of care” this university aspires to be.
The policy would also bring us in line with other Big Ten universities, such as Purdue, that have successfully implemented one. Doing so would guarantee every student is granted leave for a death loss without declaring what types of losses qualify, just as its colleagues do.
Without an inclusive bereavement policy, the university risks repeating a pattern of falling short in supporting students during one of the most challenging times in their lives and potentially denying educational opportunities, especially to marginalized students, simply because of loss. Addressing this need of our student body is about more than just implementing a policy — it’s an opportunity for this university to foster a more inclusive, equitable and compassionate environment to truly embody its commitment to building a community of care.
Karoline Trovato is a counseling psychology doctoral student at this university. She can be reached at ktrovato@umd.edu.
M Pease is Vice Chair of the Maryland Commission on LGBTQIA+ Affairs and a counseling psychology doctoral student at this university. They can be reached at mpease1@terpmail.umd.edu.
Greta Jankauskaite is a UMD alum, a licensed counseling psychologist and postdoctoral research fellow at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, Harvard Medical School. She can be reached at gjankaus@terpmail.umd.edu.
